Tuesday, February 3, 2009

LET'S PLAY A GAME: "I'd Rather..."

I'd rather stick a toothpick dipped in vinegar in my left eye than read my manuscript for the twentieth time.

I'd rather rub salt in the open blister I have on my pinky toe than wonder if my character can "laugh loudly", "burst out laughing", "chuckle", or "just fucking laugh".

I'd rather eat a pound of pearl onions than write another query letter. I'm tired of fitting my book into 2 paragraphs. That's like asking a woman to fit her fat ass into her high school jeans. It just won't look right, no matter what you do.

I'd rather stuff myself into my high school jeans and walk around in public than agonize over the waiting that I need to do now.

I'd rather be sleeping. I think I'll do that now. Good night.

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