My latest query

So I wrote this query that I finally liked. Trust me, writing queries is like having a hot sauce enema. It's just not something anybody looks forward to. And now that I've had 4 hot sauce enem-er, I mean, written 5 different query templates, I'm just looking forward to the cooling off period. Of course, almost every query is personalized to each agent, meaning that I've either mentioned a book that they have represented that I have either read or think my manuscript is similar in theme, or I have sucked up to them in such a way that they know I've done my homework. I think that's the most important thing here. It's doing the homework. I've spent hours just looking up agent names, backgrounds, companies, recent sales to publishing houses- it's enough to make me vomit. I can tell you which agent recently left one company because they were seduced by another lit agency. I can tell you which agent recently got married. I can tell you which agent seems to spend more time "tweeting" than physically possible. Do I try to convey in my query that I've been researching [stalking] them? No, but I write my letter with as much wit and professionalism as possible that it obvious to them that I'm not some shmuck who's writing on a wing and prayer and just sending off random queries at her leisure.

Anyway, we'll see what happens with my most recent queries that went out last week. I'm taking time off today for cooking for Passover dinner tonight with the in-laws, and taking a moment to dance to Mickey Mouse's "Hot Dog" dance with my kid.